Wedding Advice: Registry

My favorite registry items from Macy's & BBB

Planning timeline

You cannot get this up early enough! I put mine up so incredibly late. I shouldn't even say how late (okay, I will... like a month before - gasp! I was so. busy.). In retrospect, for my June wedding I should have had my registry up in late November/early December. Sometimes grandparents and other relatives want to know about the registry that far in advance because they can get you a christmas (or birthday depending on your timeline) present off your registry -- double duty! Especially if you have something like luggage listed on your registry.

Suggestions

-I would recommend registering at two places. I had always thought about doing three but I really couldn't think of enough items I needed or wanted to fill three registries. If you have 200+ people on your list though... you may want to consider 3 places!

-MACY'S. MACY'S. MACY'S. It is an absolute must! They have great completion sales after the wedding (10%, 20% in July/August!!) and such a good selection. Guests also like buying things from here because the quality is super nice but fairly affordable. They keep a record of everything guests purchase so if you lose track then they have all the info backed up (not that you would ever...)! Interesting fact: I couldn't figure out who got me one of the items, and I also never received it. I felt so bad! I had them print out the list -- turns out someone bought me something, the registry updated, and then they returned it and bought something else. The registry did not update! I am going to assume that is a system-wide problem... and something to be aware of. Oh, and the bride & groom will know who bought and returned stuff too (just something to keep in mind!).

-Now that you have chosen Macy's ;), what to select as your second registry? It really depends on your personality and style, and what you already have as a couple. I chose Bed Bath and Beyond because I had invited a lot of Charlottesville guests and I wanted them to have a near-by option since guests sometimes like to see the items in person. Turns out this registry did not get as much attention... I think that people preferred to pick things off the Macy's registry because they thought it would be a nicer gift. Hey, they sell Le Creuset at both BBB & Macy's! I will make little photo collages from all the top registries I can think of and you can take a little quiz of where you think you'd want to register!

-Make sure all your items go together harmoniously. My kitchen colors are crimson and ivory (AKA red and off-white :). I love vintage romantic styles with just a hint of modern lines. My cooking style is all about presentation (I'm still working on the making it taste good part!).

-Not everyone will get you a gift. It may be a little disappointing but you need to remember it is NOT REQUIRED and that those people should still get a thank you card (send out no later than 3 months post-wedding, although guests may get you a gift up to a year after, according to the wedding authorities, whoever they may be)!! *Advised: I ended up being too lazy/busy/I don't know what... I only ended up writing cards to those who gave me a gift. I am glad everyone else came, though!! Be thankful for what you got and remember there are always completion sales :) Also, I totally believe the wedding party shouldn't have to get you anything. Think of what they have already spent on your wedding... and their presence up there at the altar with you is the best gift of all.

Wedding Advice: Flowers

Planning timeline
Contact your florist at 3 months in advance, and if you're getting married in the busy season (June!), want something very elaborate, or on a holiday -- then 6-12 months is more appropriate. I ended up contacting my florist only about 3 months in advance. If you are really type A and want to see samples, then earlier is better. Surprisingly I did not end up getting samples made... the way I see it is you may be paying premium to see those flowers out of season and you don't want to be disappointed when the final product doesn't look like the sample. Something important to realize when getting flowers out of their peak season (or at the very beginning or end) -- they will look different! Peonies in early June look very different from peonies in July (which are hard to find anyways) and even different than in late June. They are smaller and not as lush. So keep that in mind!

Suggestions
-Trust your florist! Also understand that big full blooms means $$$. I've noticed a lot of people do not realize the time, effort, and individual flower costs that go into making floral arrangements so find a florist that will make your money worth it (but keep realistic expectations). Also trust your florist when she says something is out of season or at the end of its season so it may be very expensive or not available at all. A good florist will give you alternative flower suggestions that are cheaper or in season.

-Let flowers do double duty. I actually did not end up doing this but I saw a great idea -- if you want to have flowers at the end of every aisle (I opted for a lower cost petal aisle lining instead) do them in cute ribbon tied pales that can be taken and placed around the cocktail hour or reception venue. Never have a set look in mind and adjust as necessary to fit within your budget. I received quotes on three of the following aisle decors: petal lining, end of aisle flower bundles (like the pales I mentioned), and pomander balls. Not surprisingly, the price increasing dramatically from petal lining to pomander balls (also very dependent on number of rows/length of aisle). Since I was adament on having an arch to act as a natural frame for pictures of my husband and I at the top of the aisle, I went with the petal lining and it still gave me a pretty effect! Splurge on the important items and save on what's less important.

What arrangments I ordered
When you think it out... there can be a lot of uses for flowers, and you have to pick and choose what you really want or need. I LOVE flowers (I did get married in a garden!) so I wanted them everywhere.

• 1 large bridal bouquet, one bridal toss bouquet: white peonies with a vintage gold champagne wrap
• 8 smaller bridesmaids bouquets: light pink, dark pink, and lavender mix of peonies, garden roses, dahlias, and lithianthus
• 1 flower girl flower headband: asked for spray roses and ranunculus, florist had to use lithianthus, spray rose, and leaves (ranunculus difficult to get; it's a springtime flower)
• 17 boutonierres: 1 double white ranunculus bout for groom, 8 double pink ranunculus bouts for groomsmen, 8 white rose bouts for both sets of parents, 4 grandparents
• 1 ceremony arch: light pink, dark pink, and lavender flowers with greenery on arch (peonies, roses, sweet pea) **MY FAVORITE! I wanted this to frame the ceremony and the kiss! And boy did it look great.
• 1 cursive "L": hot pink carnations, on garden gate between cocktail hour and reception
• 5 small displays for cocktail hour high tables: vintage glasses with mixed flowers (my typical - peonies, roses, dahlias, lithianthus, sweet pea, etc.)
• 12 centerpieces, 5 high centerpieces, 7 low centerpieces: low centerpieces were in gold footed vases, with my typical flowers (favorite element: fresh lavender spriggs sticking out), high centerpieces were in giant glass fluted vases with branches inside, a flower mass atop, and branches coming out of the flower display with butterflies in them (my motif!). Still vintage-y and romantic but with a twist! 

small cocktail hour flower arrangements, low cost but high impact!

cursive "L" for Languasco - on my "had to have" list! Monograms are so in right now :)

the tall centerpieces



Bridal show? Psh, how about attend a "not wedding?"

This team of Atlanta vendors throws a fake wedding where brides to be can be the guests! How cool. Much more exciting than a bridal show. I'm not speaking from experience, but check this out!

Atlanta - July 21, 2011

http://www.thenotwedding.com/

Wedding Advice: Invitations

Planning timeline
Start looking for invitations at least 6 months prior to the wedding, and earlier if you plan on sending Save the Dates (6 months - a year in advance). A GREAT place to start is a shop where you can walk in and see many types of invitations. If you are in Northern Virginia I highly recommend stopping by The Dandelion Patch. I had solely been looking at Letterpress online before, and they even had one of my favorite brands, Bella Figura (even if you aren't getting married, this website is worth ooing and aahing about!). I ended up using a one-woman vendor, the fabulous Mimi at http://www.mika78.com/. I had been mad crushing on the invites I wanted for over a year (see previous posts with stationary tag) and got them! They were perfect for my historic mansion garden wedding with a butterfly motif! Order invites 3-4 months in advance, order closer to 4 months if you plan on having calligraphy professionally done. Send invites out 6-8 weeks in advance, with the reply date a month in advance. Final numbers are usually needed 7-10 days before an event for catering.

Suggestions
-Number the backs of the reply cards in light pencil (coordinating with numbering your guest list) in case someone forgets to write their name. This does happen, and the numbering system saves you from being totally confused about who hasn't RSVPed. Oh, and of course not everyone RSVPs by the deadline. You will be making calls! The "no's" usually come in the week before the deadline -- people like to delay the bad news.

-Let the invitation help you define a theme or essence to your wedding to the guests months before. I picked a vintage style invitation and it helped connect the historic property venue with my other vendor choices, like flowers!

-Make the invitation as informative as possible while staying clean and not too wordy -- I was able to include the dress code on mine ("cocktail attire") which is the answer to a question always on guests' minds.

-Consider having a handful of invitations (usually 25 count is the smallest batch) with a later RSVP date. You never know, you may forget someone... or if not you then maybe one of your parents or future in-laws forgot about a long lost buddy or cousin that is wondering where their invite is. I did not do this, but wish I had! Final numbers are not due to catering until about a week to 10 days before, so set your initial RSVP date a month before, and the late date maybe a week, week 1/2 later. Another good rule of thumb is to order 25 extra invitations because it is cheaper to buy in bulk. Remember that guest count does not correlate to the number of invites you send out because not everyone in a family needs their own invitation.

-Square invites (or other unusual shapes) cost more to mail. The most economic invitations are on cardstock with digital printing, while the most expensive prints can be on anything from cotton paper to wood done via engraving. I looove scrapbooking and paper so I had to splurge on this and had cotton paper engraved. For engraving they have to make a metal mold of your invite and then press it into the paper... twice if you have 2 different colors but the end product is worth it. A great alternative that has a similar effect? Thermography! Its slightly raised and also feels pretty cool to the touch (and is shiny!). This can cost 1/3 the price of engraving but is still super fancy. Pinkies up to that!

Wedding Advice: The Dress

Planning timeline

I would buy this 9 months to a year in advance. Consider factors such as the time of year your wedding is - as a June bride I definitely needed to buy early! It also depends on if the dress has to be made or if it is off the rack. Buying a dress early is important for alterations, as most brides have 2-3 alteration appointments! I bought my dress in August 2010, they handcrafted it over 4 months and then it was ready in December 2010. I had my first alterations appointment in December 2010 (sweetheart neckline and 1--point bustle, my second appointment in March 2011 (taken in 1 1/2 inches), and my third appointment in May 2011 (5-point bustle added, some rouches pinned flat). My dress was then steamed and pressed before I came to pick it up -- if you leave it at the salon generally you pick it up 2-3 days in advance. With a wild wolfdog you bet I left it there!

Suggestions

-Set a budget for this and try your best to stay in it! Warning: this is difficult! Consultants will try to put you in a more expensive gown and the fact is... you'll probably want it! This is one area where I went over my initial budget. The best way to avoid this though is to NOT try on the dresses outside your budget or it will be too tempting. Looking back on this, I don't regret getting the dress I did, but then again this is pretty much a one-time wear item (well, I'll be doing one more shoot!) so don't blow your entire budget on it!

-Try on dresses with a few different people. I went 3 times before purchasing, once with my mom, then with a few bridesmaids and the GBF (gay best friend), and then the mother in-law. By the end of each visit they all decided the dress was the dress, despite some worthy contenders.

-Take pictures!! This is so so important because you'll want to look at them later and see how you look in the dresses from different angles. Imagine yourself at the venue... does it fit in with the big picture? Also, something I found interesting - note your expressions in the pictures. I looked so much happier in the dress, it was undeniable. Some salons - particularly boutiques that sell a lot of dresses - will not let you take pictures (at least one of the brands probably does not allow it). I refused to get a dress from there, it reeeally helps to see the pictures later or you might get dress regret!

-Color? What do you mean, color - isn't there only white? Guess what -- my dress is not white! Ha, it's ivory. If you are getting married outdoors I highly recommend ivory, in intense sunlight or flash white will GLOW (not in a good way). This still happened to me a little but not as much as if my had been white. When I say glow I mean everything looks so white you lose details in your pictures. No bueno. I also like ivory because it is a little softer and sweeter. I also tried on a pink dress (very cool but I had to go a little bit traditional) and now beige is becoming pretty trendy. Too scared to do a different color? Try a colored sash. Vera Wang makes some awesome dresses with black sashes (think the bride in The Hangover).

-Lastly, try on all different shapes & styles! I bought a fit-to-flare, but if you had asked me before I went I never though I would have gotten this type dress, I thought it was better for curvier girls - turned out it gave me curves and made me look more womanly (the sweetheart neckline helped with this too). I drowned in A-line styles though... I looked 12! And with everything on grass a mermaid style was too difficult to maneuver in. See what is most comfortable and flattering on you.

Trying on the dress in Summer 2010

First fitting in December 2010 - wearing a dress (my dress!) that fits!



This was actually a group favorite, it had little textured polka dots on it.

But definitely not funky enough for me! However, a little more slimming/tight on the body.



Rehearsal Dinner

I never posted about the rehearsal dinner! It was FABULOUS. Way to go Mama Languasco. I was beyond floored with the details. There was a poker theme because the rehearsal dinner is all about the groom and Jon loooves poker! Speaking of which, check out this awesome groomsmen cake (often done at rehearsal dinner as not to upstage the wedding cake). It is a poker table and has all the names of the groomsmen - Jon with the winning hand! Jon's mom and I designed this together and it came out fabulous. It was half yellow cake, half chocolate cake, with raspberry. Yum!

Hehe -- look at this cute poker set Jon's mom made us! Each guest got a poker chip as well. "To Have and to Hold 'em!" -- so creative and cute. One of my favorite momentos.

The ladies & I 

The groomsnen (sans Andrew) and Faja Languasco, haha... with a last name like Languasco I should probably consider having a mafia family. This lends some good inspiration. :) 

Bride & Groom

 The night ended with a double rainbow -- we were taking it as a good omen not to receive rain the next day (and it worked!). I swear you could see the end of the rainbow, I almost wanted to go down there and dig for gold ;)

Wedding Advice: Venue

Planning timeline
I think this is the first thing that should be done. I booked my venue over a year in advance (February 2010). Venues, especially popular ones, can book that early. Make this your first priority. Plus, it sets the tone for the entire wedding!

Suggestions
-Choose a location that adds to the essence you are going for! Modern? Try an art gallery. Vintage? Try a historic site. But do your research! I chose a historic site but there are also many limitations with that such as certain fire restrictions, liability policies, vendor restrictions, etc. Think about what the venue can do for you. I chose a historic site with a garden -- instant way to lower flower costs if you want.

-Ask the right questions before booking. Don't want any other weddings going on at the same time? Be careful about booking a wedding at a large hotel (think Bride Wars at the Plaza!).

-Is the venue all-inclusive? This can save a lot of money! I had to rent tables, chairs, silverware, and linens but that is one thing a venue like a hotel can be very good for.

Professional Pictures -- In!!

Yay my pics are in! Now I'm looking through and seeing if there were any specific poses/shots I missed and we will do those during our re-bridals at the end of July! A few favorites...

Sacred Reading

This was the sacred reading we used in our ceremony, read to us by Jon's godfather.

My love, you have searched me and you know me;

You know when I sit and when I stand;

You understand all of my thoughts from afar.

My journey and my rest you study,

With all the ways you are familiar.

You stand before me and behind me

And place your hand within my hand.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me.

Where can I go from your spirit?

If I go to the heavens, you are there;

If I go to the netherworld, you are there.

If I take the wings of dawn or settle at the furthest ends of the sea,

Even there your love shall find me

And your heart will draw me back.

Psalm 139

Our wedding website

Oh yeah! I forgot to link it here. Our wedding website can be found at...

http://www.caroandjon.com/ !

It'll be up for the next year then I will not renew it. I have put up some guest-taken pictures from the wedding here for the time being. Plus everything else about the wedding as well as Jon and I. I highly recommend creating a wedding website for when you get married. Granted, I should have debuted mine a lot earlier but I like to think it was still a little helpful, as well as a good vehicle to show aunts & uncles pictures who are not on facebook.

Honeymoon in Jamaica: Sneak peek!

Professional Pictures

I just spoke with my photographer today, he said the pictures will be ready next week! Ahh it can't come sooner :)

I think I will just post my favorites on my website (and facebook if I can upload all the rest of my backlog in time!) instead of giving out the password to the uploaded ones on my photogs site... that will be for family only :)

Also, Jon and I just scheduled our "re-bridals" session! I never used my engagment session so Jon and I have a "free" session left. Bridals are when the bride dresses up and takes pictures in her dress before the wedding, so re-bridals are when you do that after. However, I can't not include Jon! I am currently trying to decide on a location -- any good ideas in the DC area? I've also thought about doing shots in the portrait studio, but I think I am leaning towards outside. The venue would have to be very different from Oatlands. I am also having another bouquet and bout made -- this time I will do a colorful one! We'll have to get Jon in a colorful bowtie, as well. I'm thinking of doing something funky for the flowers so stay tuned.

Only a few days after the photoshoot Jon and I will pack up and move to Atlanta. While I am continuing my job search, Jon will help his father with the opening of his family's second restaurant. Jon will love the feeling of being a manager again. Bye bye, Bodos!!